Lesbian Grandmothers' Group by Linda Quinlan
This article appeared in the June 6th issue of the Out In the Mountains newspaper"


I had recently moved to Montpelier and was looking to connect with the lesbian community.

This would prove to be more difficult than I thought. I didn’t do winter sports or hike. I’d always lived in urban environments where there were lots of people transitioning from other places.

Lesbians here seemed to be more settled in their lives, coupled and not as accessible as I had imagined they would be. I’d gone to few lesbian activities, but found myself feeling more alone. Having grown up in Boston, I remembered how New England can be somewhat clannish, but I’d come here from New Orleans where people start conversations in coffee shops and on the bus and invite you to a party they are having on Saturday night. But I also knew that if I could make friends here they would be long and lasting. I just had to break through.

On a Saturday afternoon in October I was writing a poem about my grandmother and how close I’d felt to her, how she had helped raise me when my parents both worked and were busy with their lives. I’d never heard of a lesbian grandmother’s group, but thought, why not? I was a lesbian grandmother and I knew there had to be others in the community.

I put together a small blurb about wanting to start this group and advertised on both the Amelia site and with the Crones. I got my first response from Candi and Deb, saying that they were interested in such a group. I began to feel excited and hopeful. Soon I heard from Lynn, Anne, and Julie. There were now five of us. I set up our first meeting at a restaurant in White River Junction. Embarrassed at not calling first, I discovered that the restaurant was closed. All five of us greeted each other in the empty parking lot. As a group we chatted, talked about ourselves and walked the streets trying to find a place to eat. Finding nothing downtown, we caravanned to a Chinese Restaurant just off the highway.

I knew right away that this was going to be a wonderful group. Everyone talked, laughed and shared stories about their lives.

We met again and again. The group seemed to come together easily and we planned a sleigh ride for January. However, the snow never came, and on the day we had planned to go the temperature fell below zero. Laura, a new member of our group who owns a bed and breakfast in Montpelier, suggested that we all have a pajama party at her house. We arrived on Saturday afternoon with food to cook for the evening meal. Donna, another new member, brought movies to watch, and many of us took advantage of Laura’s pool table. It was important to me and to the group that we are welcoming to any new members and that no one would feel isolated within this group. In this we have been very successful. The weekend at Laura’s was one of the best weekends I’d spent in quite awhile. I am grateful to the women who have shared this experience with me and have reached out to both me and other lesbian grandmothers in the community.

We are all from different backgrounds and are as different as we are the same. Lynn is a poet and writer. Deb makes jewelry, stained glass and builds with wood. Deb’s partner Candi loves to read and is learning to do pottery. We have a minister, a lab technician, and a retired nurse.

Email linda@lesbiangrandmothers.org if you are interested in joining our group.

Linda Quinlan is a poet and writer who has been published in Sinister Wisdom, Conditions, and other feminist and lesbian periodicals. She was Wisconsin Poet of the Year in 1989 and was a feature writer for a gay and lesbian newspaper in New Orleans. She is a grantwriter and administrator.